People complain about writers being content creators etc etc etc but I admit I would rather get a thousand dollars per sponsored post for like, sparkling water that labour-wise would take me 5 minutes to do. At least this would give me more time to focus on my ART. Unfortunately, I am a writer with a Name so usually companies ask me to write 800 to 1000 words on something that capitalizes on my “reputation” and has me singing for my supper in ways I feel even more icky about. What’s more morally depraved?

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I started collecting art by my friends seven or eight years ago. During a fundraiser for Palestine I purchased a sculpture by Brittany Shepherd. It was a martini glass with a kiss-marked napkin, frozen in time in silicone rubber. It survived several moves and several parties, and there were even attempts to purchase a large enough bell jar to keep it safe.

Keeping it dust-free required avoiding any cleaning solutions. I would wet a paper towel with water and dab at the surface of the rubber. If I pushed too hard on it, the dust would sink into the surface and make a mark. I’ll always remember hearing a friend who works as an art conservator, saying that a collector is a steward for the work. Once you take ownership, it’s something to take into the future with you and make sure it’s safe. She advised artists to document their materials for later use by conservators.

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In December, I was hungover and on a call with my friend in Amsterdam. I wanted to give him a tour of the little trinkets that sat on my etagere. Murano poodles, green Wedgewood Jasperware, music boxes, and the martini sculpture. As I returned to being vertical in my bedroom, still on the call, there was a loud crashing sound. Even my friend on the line heard it. I already knew. One of the glass shelves of my etagere had collapsed. My cat, Claude, had a particularly guilty look on her face. She is the only one in the household that enjoys climbing on perches.

Peering into my living room, casualties were abound. Sommerso vases chipped and scratched, the family of glass poodles now orphaned, and holding my breath… the martini glass had shattered with the brave resin still holding on. Months later, I can’t bear to throw the broken sculpture out. It sits on my kitchen counter in purgatory.1

What happens when art is damaged?

Asking art world people and reading on the subject has a poetic lean. Gallerist Aryen Hoekstra told me, “It’s more conceptual than physical because the damaged object still exists, but as an artwork, it doesn’t.” For Harpers in 2013, Ben Lerner mentions Salvage Art Institute, a project by artist Elka Krajewska. Salvage art is the art world term used to describe “no-longer-artworks” after an insurance company pays out “full market value on a claim in a total loss case.” In its manifesto or “policy”, SAI describes itself as “a haven for all art officially declared as total loss, removed from art market circulation and liberated from the obligation of perpetual valuation and exchangeability.” Krajewska gained access to an insurance company’s storage of these Salvage Art pieces and created the institute. The damaged artwork is stripped of the artist’s name, though each piece is accompanied by its redacted insurance documents.

Visual art is so different from books this way. The elusive value is not only measured by the artist’s signature or intellectual concept or beauty or historic impact, but also very simply because it’s one of one. “There’s these objects that artists make in the studio, but then when they start circulating within an art market or a capitalist market, that’s where the insurance company inserts itself,” Hoekstra says. It feels almost like the golden touch. The piece leaves the artist, and once it graduates into the market, a value is assigned. In the same way, once something is damaged, the insurance companies that have valued the pieces can say it no longer exists within that market. It disappears.

I recently saw an exhibition borrowed from the Dallas Art Museum. All the heavy hitters were present. Manet, Cezanne, Gauguin, Monet, Munch, Matisse et al. One of the comments that struck me was that the Canadian government had to be asked to provide funds for the insurance of all the pieces. In fact, the museum said this was often the only way to get the work into the country and shown. It was hard to believe if any of these works suffered damage, their value could be nullified.

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Lerner writes, “When a work is damaged—in transit, in a fire or flood, in an act of vandalism—and an appraiser agrees with the owner of the work that it cannot be satisfactorily restored, or that the cost of restoration would exceed the value of the claim, the insurance company pays out the total value of the damaged work, which is then, legally speaking, worthless.”

Hoekstra says, “I don’t know what’s the right term, whether it’s worthless or worth zero or doesn’t exist.” “Total loss”, “No-Longer-Art”, “no longer exists”—These phrases have the mysterious romance of when something goes missing or “disappears without a trace.” Brittany’s work is very much about remnants, uncanny textures, danger and fetish. She makes resin sculptures in the shape of soap with strands of human hair that bring up a very particular, bodily discomfort in me. Evidence of a woman who was once here.

Perhaps the martini glass might feel perfectly in line with trends (perhaps a trend…I ushered in), but to me, it has a spectral quality of being caught in time. With the original sculpture, people would come over and do a double take. Have you ever thrown a napkin into a glass at the end of a night? It is the last thing you do before pulling out your chair and taking leave. I love the sculpture because it begs the question, “Who is this woman? Is she fed up?” Lipstick on a napkin is the physical embodiment of another very glamorous remnant: a cloud of perfume that lingers once she’s already out the door.

Remnants and detritus, much like what remains of the damaged “no-longer-art” works. A pile of shattered pieces and an indistinct memory of what once was. Romantic!!!!

Nothing says European travel like having to go to two German airports in one day. Word to the wise, the only times I have missed flights have been through German airports. Do NOT order the sausages that come with fresh pretzels in Munich. The sausages will arrive floating in a pot of boiling water and they are bright white and you wi…

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What can one summer do for you?

Taxi drivers in Greece loved to explain to me the phenomenon they called “erotic immigrants” which I’m sure has a lot more melody when said in the native tongue. They would ask, “What brings you here?” and without waiting they’d say, “Let me …

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For the longest time I’ve had a note in my phone titled The Female Erotic. It’s a list of films that all share women engaging in a (sometimes lethal) blend of sex, power, and money. It’s by no means a complete list, but I collected these titles because what they share is strong cos…

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Habiter

096: MARLOWE GRANADOS

Despite New York’s non-cooperative weather, spring’s fashion calendar has begun to perk up. My weeknights are once again dotted with cute dinners and events. On Tuesday, I went to one at Borgo, hosted by my friend (and Substack role model) Becky and jeweler…

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3 months ago · 17 likes · 1 comment · Christina Holevas

2. I’ll be in New York on May 26th to celebrate the re-issue of the 1987 novel In the City by Joan Silber with the author herself. RSVP here. Pre-order the novel here.

Designs for Living is an advice column “dispensing sound advice in a noisy world.” Need advice? Write to me here. Paid subscribers get access to this column and the entire archive of advice.

Dear Marlowe,

I’ve been in a relationship for two years with a great guy but I can always feel my eyes wandering. I don’t actually want anything and I love my boyfriend but I feel like I’m always evaluating Opportunities that may come along, relationship-wise. I don’t want to break up with him but I don’t know how to stop looking at other people!

-Two Wandering Eyes

Hi Marlowe!

What are your thoughts on women making the first move in this bare dating market. Does it set a bad precedent? Do you believe in long term (lifelong) monogamy? Also, what the best motivation for getting over an ex you thought you’d marry (I’m in mid 30s)? I like glowing up / success as revenge but am curious if you have any other tantalizing strategies. (Clearly a lot going on over here)!

An Inquiring Mind

Dear TWE and AIM,

My answers here will be slightly unpopular. Both of you have asked me for advice in the realm of what is the correct ETIQUETTE in these matters of the heart. Listen, let’s get this out of the way. I’m very European when it comes to dating and relationships, if you haven’t already noticed. There is a puritanism at the moment when it comes to cheating, dating people’s exes, and even looking at other people. We can all sit on our moral high ground and think we would never do such a thing as wander, but I’m of the opinion that try as one might, life gets in the way.

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I would pose the question to our first reader as, why do you have to stop looking at other people if it’s all very innocent? Is it because you’re worried your capacity for more will be enticed? Do you think it’s a betrayal of your partner? One of my friends has been with someone for eight years and she exercises having innocent crushes quite regularly. Even just someone a little famous to keep it parasocial, which is harmless and good fun. Sometimes, evaluating the possibility of someone else can bring you closer to your partner simply because your imagination knows if it was real, it would be a nightmare. Window shopping is one of life’s great pleasures.

Outlawing looking or thinking about another person makes it all the more taboo. Listen, I grew up Catholic and look how that turned out. You’ve got to let a little air out of the balloon occasionally. I believe when women LOOK they are trying to establish their individual identity away from their partners and whatever co-dependency they’ve fallen into. It’s the simplest way to get in touch with yourself again and have some secret, naughty autonomy. Even for myself, I love to rev up the boy-crazy instincts of my youth and feel a touch dangerous once in a while. Being in a long term relationship can feel dowdy.

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My astrologist Kat is opening up a few spots for my subscribers, and she's usually referral only. I like to see her for beginnings and endings. It’s a little like a map for uncharted territory. Last time, she and also my psychic (respectively) said I had to get back to routine because I can get swept up (a euphemism if I’ve ever heard one).…

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-He kept referring to me as Miss Novelist
-He said, “Of course you hate having boyfriends, you have to write.”
-I put on my full length mink coat as we were leaving, hugged goodbye and said, “You should get a coat like mine” and he said, “I’m working up to it.”

Anyway… sometimes it’s gauche to talk about celebrity encounters but fame is just so funny. Also, I constantly ask them about books they read or if they will read my book (peer pressure)… the things I do for the publishing industry… Whenever I leave my house I’m always WORKING!

The women in my family love to shop. This is the one thing that unites three generations. Whenever a new season approaches, I’ll tell my friends I have the “shoppies” which is my way of saying I am entering a frenzy where I will buy a number of items in short succession. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Often it depends on whatever else is happening my life. (The more stressed out I am, the more likely I am to add to cart).

I spend about 80% of my screen time on resale sites. I love estate sales, auctions, Japanese proxy websites, and resale apps (Poshmark is my favourite and I browse both Canadian and US, other more shi-shi apps get a lower rating because of custom fees shipping to Canada). It is my most private hobby, because no one is ever witness to how I find anything (plus time spent), and only see what I’ve bought if I wear it out).

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My aunt recently told me she’d been thrifting for the first time and had such a thrill finding a “2-ply cashmere sweater” for six dollars. Then added, “But you know the feeling, you’ve been doing it since you were a kid.” My first pair of Chanel pumps were acquired from a vintage store when I was fourteen. They were something like eighty-five dollars and for the time seemed old-fashioned (black patent, small gold CC buttons, a 2.5” heel). I remember wearing them to the Bowery hotel with elbow length pink opera gloves and a pleated, butter yellow skirt worn as a strapless dress (I was fifteen). My next pair of designer shoes I thrifted were black patent Vara flats by Ferragamo. I loved these into the ground because they weren’t completely flat and had a 1.5” stacked heel. Obviously these would be so coveted now but at the time, they really were seen as old lady (which has been my taste all along). I still get upset recalling the Chanel shoes getting stuck in an NYC subway grate that completely cut up the heel.

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As a teenager, I was the only one in my high school who came “dressed up.” It was an arts school so much of the dress code was flannel, ripped tights, and doc martens. I’m almost positive twenty years on it’s still the same. My highschool English teacher’s earliest memory of me (which she still loves to bring up) is me coming from my internship at Vice and sneaking into class forty minutes late wearing a fur coat and fur hat (Unfortunately part of my storied life is I was a sixteen year old intern at Vice. It was 2008!!!!).

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I’ve followed Larissa Pham’s work for many years, and if you’ve read any number of independent magazines in the last decade I’m almost sure you’ve come across her. In all forms, she writes with such sensitive precision and clarity (I urge you to read her essay on domesticity published early last year). I once got in a fight with an ex-lover …

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My favourite beauty products: SMALL JOINTS #21

An Ode: To Things That Have No Use

I am famously on the cover of On The Rag’s first issue where a photo of me looking back is framed with big font that says, “Women should only sleep with hot men.” A real battle cry! The piece I wrote discusses my history of being hopelessly, fanatically boy crazy as a teenager, which has only become more sophisticated and honed as I’ve gotten older. I can’t help but think of the Frank O’Hara line, “Heterosexuality! you are inexorably approaching.” The word “swoon” sets off visions of women fainting from their inability to handle their desire. There’s a scene in the 1961 film Paris Blues where Paul Newman’s display of white-hot allure is almost unbearable to watch... It’s like looking at the sun. He circles Barbara Laage like a handsome panther and she asks him the age old question, “Why do you need me today? Because you feel you’re wonderful or because you feel you are worth nothing?”

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Remember my last newsletter when I really was a proponent for being a chaos demon…Well, I took it too far!

The other day Tatum said, “I don’t know anyone who uses healthcare more than you.” This is one of the main reasons I say I can’t live in America because I am simply too accident prone. A week ago I fell back on my chair a…

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Housekeeping!

1. I’m doing a BIRTHDAY sale for 40% OFF annual subscriptions which gets you access to newsletters like today’s. I believe this is around $30 USD a year. I have NOT adjusted for inflation like everyone else because I’m terrible at doing business. This ends on Nov 26th.

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2. I wrote a piece on dining solo all over the world for Chatelaine Magazine. Here’s a sample:

Solo dining is the only time I can concentrate on savouring the food at my own pace, and that freedom outweighs any discomfort I have with being seen alone. In the beginning I felt a bit awkward—it was like not knowing where to place your hands when posing for a photo. Now, I’ll have two martinis to give me the right kind of tilt that feels luxurious on my own, and I’ll eat until I’m full. I love to over-order. I think of Daniel Day-Lewis in Phantom Thread ordering an ample breakfast for one and falling in love with the woman waiting on his table: “with a poached egg that is not too runny…and jam—but not strawberry.”

I like the differing levels of alarm that come with asking for a table for myself. In New York and Toronto, it’s easier to get by, though restaurants sometimes bristle at giving up a table for a single cover. In Berlin, once, the host was so perplexed when I came in alone at 10 p.m. that he periodically stopped by the table and asked if I was alright. (It’s hard to know the cultural precedent for dining alone.) By the end of the meal, the kitchen staff sent over a cherry tart as a gift. I must give the impression that a woman dining alone is seeking refuge from her life, and that is not completely untrue.

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3. I was in VOGUE GREECE for their December Issue talking about Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. In print and online. I love being a woman of the world! READ IF YOU UNDERSTAND GREEK or translate it for FUN!

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HEDDA

”You just do anything you want, don’t you.”

“Of course, otherwise what would be the point?”

I went into the TIFF premiere for Hedda having little background on the adventure I was about to embark on. I had not read the play it was based on, Hedda Gabler by Henrik Ibsen (I amended this yesterday and read the play in one sitting! I suggest). It was all new to me! I had almost stayed home from going because I had been burning the candle at both ends (such is a theme for this last quarter of the year), but I watched the trailer and decided you know what, I feel like I will miss out on something if I don’t go. Anything that informs my work is worth getting out of bed for, this is an impetus for me these days.

If you have followed my writing for any amount of time, you know how much I love a difficult woman. Throw out the word “unlikeable”––let’s trade UP for incorrigible, disastrous, chaotic, monstrous. For example, I went to see Lynne Ramsay’s Die My Love with my best friend and as the credits rolled she looked at me and said, “And I’d do nothing different!” Now, if the woman in question has a lot of chic and some comedic timing, then it’s simply catnip for me. To borrow from Sandra Bernhard, when I see a woman like that the story is about to get “funky and REAL!” Tessa Thompson’s Hedda glides through her house sowing seeds of strife as a party favour.

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It was my birthday on Monday and I have decided to do a SALE ! Casually browsing other people’s newsletters I’m a bit shocked people are now charging $10/month? That seems so expensive??? Anyway, 40% off is like… $30 USD a year. I have included a bunch of pieces below that you may have missed if you haven’t been a longtime subscriber and are now …

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Now, I decided on shoes because they show and wear the brunt of my life. I’m HARD on my shoes to the point of their extinction. I’ve spent a fortune at the cobbler and because Toronto cobblers take too long I’m known to ferry shoes with broken heels and soles to New York just to get them done within a few days. Just think, I bring my broken sole to New York (like everyone else!). When I began to write my Ode to Mary Janes, I texted my father saying, “Do you remember when I was little and you opened a door and it scraped the top of my foot and you had to carry me to the pharmacy with me wailing and bleeding in your arms and I had to get a tetanus shot??” And Papa Granados responded, “What, are you gonna sue me now?” What are we going to do about FATHERS!

Here’s more on Wearing it Out:

From the specter of a wedding dress to the irreverence of a Prada shoe, what we choose to wear and how can be a conduit for obsession, remembrance, and provocation. Wearing It Out is a book of eleven stories about getting dressed from an international group of writers including Ana Kinsella, Claire Marie Healy, Colleen Kelsey, Emily Wells, Laia García-Furtado, Marlowe Granados, Miriam Bale, Natalie Guevara, Sara Black McCulloch, Simran Hans, and Tatum Dooley, accompanied by a photo series from designer and researcher Jennifer Park. Published by Colleen Kelsey in New York City.

You can purchase the booklette at Antenne Books
Current London stockists: Artwords + Magma Books

A Shoe By Any Other Name

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I was listening to the Peggy Guggenheim biography by Francine Prose and I kept returning to one part that mentioned Leonora Carrington. She had gone mad, “set free her pet eagle, sold their house for a bottle of brandy, and vanished into a Spanish mental asylum to which she’d been committed by her influential British family.” All I’ve been thinking since is… I’ve got such a distance to go!

ANYWAY, someone asked me what I write about on here and I had to say the newsletter is… voice driven (a euphemism? Perhaps). Some of you may have zero interest in cosmetics or skincare but because I live in the world and wear lipstick, you will have to grin and bear it for this edition of SMALL JOINTS. I keep saying to my friends…sure I’m a writer, but I am a WOMAN first!

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I find people’s makeup routines so fascinating especially if they don’t really talk about them as part of their “work.” It’s why the Top Shelf interviews on Into the Gloss were so fun (I didn’t realize they still had them… why has no one called me!). But also, isn’t it fascinating how we can become experts at something like makeup and it’s just expected of us to know how to do it or be good at? Half of my friends are very no makeup at all and have been using the same eye pencil since university. The other half are so incredible at each of their respective looks but how they get there and what products they use is a mystery to me (unless I rifle through their stuff when I’m at their houses—an underrated route to a fun kind of intimacy).

Everything I use is very “grab and go,” I don’t like anything fussy and as I get older I realize I do need to add additional products to my routine and this annoys me. My approach is to know what works and do touch ups as little as possible. I spent most of this month in New York where life was very go-go-go. I usually had less than 5 hours of sleep and less than half an hour to get ready to go anywhere. My whole routine became a fascinating exercise in muscle memory.

One thing I would like to say is why don’t cosmetics have “water-based”, “silicone-based”, “oil-based” plainly labelled on each product? I’m not a chemist and yet when I trial and error makeup this is what needs to be top of mind so I technically do need to be a chemist to avoid caking, flaking, and pilling.

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I will only have one or two of these kinds of recommendations a year because I rarely change my products up unless a brand sends me things and they achieve the highest praise (ascend into being a part of my regular arsenal). Comment and let me know if you like this sort of thing, I was feeling a little shy because god knows some of you are not here for such… feminine diversions (but you should be)!

*some of these links are affiliate links and most of them are to sephora or ulta… if you are going to spend at a LARGE corporation anyway…

Makeup

I can’t go into a drugstore without coming out with some little makeup treat. I’m of the opinion that a lot of drugstore makeup is as good as anything fancy, but it requires a lot of trial and error. One of my friend’s works head office at one of the big beauty retailers and has let me dig through all her samples which is how I came to higher end products before brands started sending me things to try. I usually drag my feet when making more expensive beauty purchases because I know I could run by the drug store for something that might be half as good but has a reasonable price tag. But alas, sometimes the price is actually paying for something that works well.

Mascara - I have responded to my friend’s instagram stories telling them they need to stop wearing whatever mascara they’re wearing because it’s running and giving them panda eyes. We have the technology! We have moved past panda! TUBING MASCARA is right there! Tubing mascara coats each single lash and comes off as little strips when you wash it off. This is perfect when you are known to cry in public (I’m not ashamed, my makeup stays perfect). The only mascara I wear is Milani’s tubing mascara. Well-priced, available at most drug stores, doesn’t bother my eyes (I wear contacts).

Blush - Blush is my absolute favourite product to wear. It just makes everyone look fresh and sprightly. I always say two things that make me look alive are penciling in my eyebrows and applying a liberal amount of blush. Longtime readers have seen me extoll the virtues of the Danessa Myricks Blurring Balm. I wear it in the shade “Dancing Queen.” It is so pigmented and buildable, it is the first thing I make sure I’m carrying whenever I change purses. I’ve influenced my friends to buy it in real time when I’ve applied it on them in public when they’ve felt the need to spruce up.

I will admit the next product I’ve only just come around to. The Milk Cooling Water Jelly Tint, my favourite shades are Spritz and Chill. I suppose my experience with this product speaks volumes for Giving Second Chances. My initial issue with this tint was that it dried too fast and was difficult to spread in a way that made it look natural. The pigment would collect in certain areas of my face and not others. This was specifically when nothing would be on my face underneath. Now, after applying a certain sunscreen and priming serum, the jelly tint doesn’t dry as immediately and it becomes workable. My favourite thing about the Jelly Tint is how long it lasts without budging, whereas the Danessa Myricks balm does require reapplication. Both these things are very grab and go, and can also be applied on lips. Perfect for “unplanned sleepovers.”

Charlotte Tilbury Blush Wand gets an honourable mention because I love the product, I just hate the way its packaged. The applicator has a tendency to split on its neck and the product oozes out. But, easy and breezy otherwise! It’s just too expensive to risk this kind of package malfunction. I have a lot of complaints about packaging…

Eye Liner + Shadow - I go through so much liquid eyeliner that of course my choice for this wouldn’t be pricey. I’ve been doing a cat eye since I was thirteen and I can remember I used the Rimmel liquid eyeliner for years until they did a reformulation. Now, I use the E.L.F. H20 Proof Inkwell eyeliner. My rules for liquid eyeliner is it shouldn’t budge, bleed, or flake off. This liner is my mainstay.

My eyes are where I do most of the “fun” things and experiment if I have the time. It really is just like painting. Firstly, everyone should own a taupe-y colour of eyeshadow as a classic base. If you look at photos of Audrey Hepburn there is this taupe-y brown that amplifies her eye shape and creates this frame and depth. It softens the black liner and gives the makeup an element of subtlety. The Mac Matte Eyeshadow in Omega or if you can find the shade Natural Wilderness for a warmer tone.

The first time anyone does a successful smokey eye is a makeup rite of passage. Whenever I do one my friend Tony says I turn into a “goblin.” This is to say the smokey eye gives me terrifying power and everyone needs to get out of my way.

Another eyeshadow style I tend to do is a colour wash, I’ll buy single pans of a very pigmented colour and just build it along the lid (think Love Witch). I prefer doing this in a shimmery copper, champagne gold, or a bright pink. I really hate storing eyeshadow palettes so single pan eyeshadows are a must for me.

Brows - A brow pencil does not need to be anything fancy. I have a Gucci brow pencil, a random brow pencil from a Greek pharmacy, a brow pen I bought from Bigelow Chemists. by the brand WBCo., but does it matter? I don’t think so. I can’t be convinced that one brow pencil is better than the other… A little brow gel though, sure. I like the Milk Kush High Roll brow gel. As long as my brows don’t look patchy, I’ll live.

Face - I’m very lucky that I’ve always had good skin. Though, as I’ve probably mentioned here before, during the worst periods of anxiety I tend to PICK! This becomes a problem because I end up scarring. A lot of my actual skincare has to do with solving hyperpigmentation, scarring, and evening out skin tone. Now, as I get older I’m trying to add more of the complex steps in (Vit C, retinol, etc.).

Underneath I’ll do a lighter moisturizer like the La Roche Posay Effaclar Mat or HaruHaru Wonder Black Rice Cream and wait to let it sink in, then a sunscreen like the Ultra Violette Fave Fluid SPF 50 (a must for me in Greece), or the Summer Fridays Shade Drops (this has a slight cast to it, so I wear it in the paler months). On top I’ll wear the Peter Thomas Roth glow serum which truly makes the skin glow. This is what makes my skin look AMAZING in photos. I have no idea if it actually “firms” my skin over time but that is not what I use it for.

I don’t wear foundation unless I’m getting photos done, but I’ve always had pretty dark eye bags since I was a child (my mother loved to remark about them). I’ve tested out a lot of concealers in my day and for now I like the Sephora brand Hydrating Glow Concealer because it’s buildable and doesn’t look cakey. After I put blush on and before I put eye makeup on I’ll use a setting spray like the NYX dewy finish.

I have combination skin so before bed I’ll do a heavier moisturizer for dryness. I’ll wash my face with the Skinfix hydrating cleanser and slather on SkinFix moisturizer for this reason, and if you wear contacts I would suggest nighttime application as well because this tends to slip into the corners of my eyes and cause irritation. I also like Tula’s 24/7 moisturizer when it’s deep into Canadian winter. I’ve been super impressed with the E.L.F. cosmetics skin care and feel like it could be compared favourably to the SkinFix line. I like their Holy Hydration balm cleanser and face cream (the cream is less dense than SkinFix’s).

For any advanced things, I defer to Paula’s Choice until I learn anything else about the science. God forbid a woman has other things to do! (Pro-Collagen Peptide, Clinical 1% Retinol, Mandelic + Lactic acid, BHA liquid exfoliant). Oh, I lied, I also like the Biossance Squalane + Lactic Acid night serum.

Lips - I spent much of my teenage-hood wearing red lipstick (Mac’s RUBY WOO!). Now, I’m much more prone to a lip oil or a lip gloss. If I am wearing a lipstick I wear Merit’s Signature lipstick matte shades in Maison or Neutral.

I posted a photo of the inside of my handbag the other day and got many people messaging me about the C.O. Bigelow lip gloss in my bag as being a “throwback”. Listen, they still stock it! I am a devotee to the cinnamint flavour of their Mentha Lip Shine. First of all, it tastes sweet. Second of all if you have any kisses someone always remarks on it. I use the Milk Electric Glossy Lip Plumper in shades Wired and Buzzed. Again, does it noticeably plump my lips? I don’t know, but I like the weird buzzy feeling it gives on the lips when I’m on a night out.

Body - Before I get into moisturizers the body wash situation is very… Silly. I like the smells of Salt & Stone and Necessaire. Are these things actually hydrating? I don’t think so. They just add to the good atmosphere of the shower. The L’Occitane almond oil body wash is a new favourite but I wish the pricing was better. It goes on as an oil but suds up as you lather. I do think this is moisturizing.

I especially love the body wash’s counterpart, L’Occitane’s almond shimmer oil. This is similar to the Nuxe shimmer oil that everyone talks about but honestly I find the smell of the Nuxe oil terribly unappealing. The shimmer oil makes you very soft and doesn’t have that annoying transfer onto your clothes (as far as I can tell). It’s important for my skin to be very, very, very soft. For body sunscreen I LOVE the formula of the Ultra Violette Extreme Screen SPF 50 for the smell and the dash of shimmer (for some reason it’s not available in the US), it’s also very hydrating.

My skin freaks out when I’m stressed and I get small patches of psoriasis, so at that point I use something rather clinical like Eucerin. To help with any body acne I use the Tia’m anti blemish lotion from my local K-Beauty store.

Lasering at home… Okay this is the most intense step in my beauty routine and I always forget to do it but this is the one thing in my life I’ve bought and I’m like “wow this restores so much faith in buying stuff when it actually works.” I bought a Braun IPL machine a year and a half ago (I paid for it in installments!!!!) and sometimes when I’m at parties I literally tell my friends to stroke my leg to feel how effective it is. As my friend Billie said recently, “Why… does your leg feel like that?” OUT OF THIS WORLD SOFT! For those of you who know about lasering off hair, this is for those that have dark hair follicles and enough contrast in skin tone so the lasers can do their zapping.

Deodorant - If Nécessaire ever discontinues the deodorant gel it’s going to be a cursed day. Sometimes it’s sold out and I’m like ???? I prefer the Eucalyptus over the fragrance free. Another thing I’ve found that works for me when I want to cycle products (why is it with deodorants that continuous use can stop it from working?). I’ll put the Ordinary’s glycolic acid in a spritz bottle and use that as deodorant. It works? Don’t ask me how. The only downside is, if I’m keeping up with my lasering I wouldn’t advice using the acid around the same timeframe as it’s just a recipe for burning since the skin is being exfoliated under your arms.

Am I missing anything? If you have other questions pls comment below and I will answer. Apparently I’m at the ‘Email Length Limit”